It's Water off a Duck's Back to Me.

Product: Evian Mineral Water
Slogan: "L'evian. Live Young"
Suggested Alternative: "As Good as Water Gets"

Bottled mineral water is probably the greatest scam of our time. It's difficult not to have respect for whoever is responsible for the marketing miracle of getting people to pay rather highly for something that they could quite easily obtain practically for free. Yes, there are things added to tap water, but you can always buy a water filter for your home if it bothers you that much. Bottled water should really only be necessary for emergency use, such as disaster relief and stocking nuclear bunkers.

That rant over, on to the slogan. Firstly, I'm not really sure about the use of a thick French accent to try to make the name of the product to sound like 'live young'; it sounds forced and extremely cheesy.

It's also difficult to make an association between youth and the consumption of mineral water. Personally, I'd associate youth with alcohol and fizzy pop, and mineral water with middle-aged health nuts. I guess I have a grudge against the health-conscious, since frankly I'd rather enjoy my food and drink than live a life of miserable blandness, but try explaining that to the self-righteous pastel-coloured-tracksuit brigade, and you'll get naught but a patronising look and a selection of chickpea recipes for your trouble.

For the conspiracy theorists, have you ever noticed that "Evian" spelt backwards is "Naive"? I'd love to believe that the name was chosen because of this, as an homage to the sort of people who waste their money on this stuff, but sadly it actually derives from its purported place of origin.

So yes... annoying product, annoying slogan, annoying consumers. I'm off to re-fill my glass of tap water.