Next Time, It'll Just Be "AARGH"!

Product: Peperami
Slogan: "Peperami: It's a Bit of an Animal"
Suggested Alternative: "Eat First. Read Ingredients List Later."

Kudos for the ingenious portmanteau of "pepperoni" and "salami" in the name of this product. The slogan itself is more unfortunate than bad. It may be a bit of an animal, but which bit? Frankly, this is one of those snacks you can only really enjoy if you can take your mind off the fact that it's probably made of the 'bits of animals' that were left over after making everything else. I can't help but love the damned things though...

Product : Vauxhall Corsa
Slogan : "C'MON!"
Suggested Alternative : "Why not buy a Vauxhall Corsa? They're Really Quite Good."

Plucked from one of my most hated adverts in recent years, this slogan barely qualifies as a word, let alone a sentence. It's probably the most ambiguous and pointless slogan I have ever heard. It doesn't refer to the quality of the product. It doesn't refer to the product at all. It doesn't even sound particularly positive, especially when screamed by a deformed soft toy with a hideously distorted voice. Even the chants invented by football supporters are better than this. At least they have the sense to append "you blues!" to the phrase. (The only two football teams in the world are still 'The Reds' and 'The Blues', right?)

And come where, precisely?